This article by Anne Chrisp is a few years old, but someone recommended it recently, so sharing it here
“ I am about to go away on sabbatical,” I said. “I will be back in just over three months’ time, and I will look forward to catching up with you then.” And then I added, without really intending to: “You might care to use that time as an
opportunity to reflect on our spiritual direction relationship and whether to continue when I come back.”
The woman to whom I was talking, a spiritual directee, looked taken aback. “I’m not saying that I wish to stop,” I explained hurriedly. “Just it is an opportunity. Get in touch later in the year when I return.”
Several months later, I returned from sabbatical. No word from this spiritual directee, no telephone call or e-mail. That was not completely surprising, but once a new year had turned and there was still no contact, I began to wonder if there was more to the silence. Eventually, I received an e-mail—“I have slowly done a reorganisation of my personal supervision and spiritual direction arrangements over the last few months, after thinking and pondering on it for some time. (I think you began me on that before you went away on sabbatical: encouraged me to review and reflect a bit!) So, I’m making a change of director and supervisor.”
My heart sank. The spiritual directee and I had enjoyed a productive spiritual direction relationship for nearly ten years. I enjoyed her company and respected her as a person. We had a good working relationship. Yet the ending of our relationship felt awkward and fraught. I wondered if she had felt uncomfortable for some time?
Had I pushed to end our relationship too soon?
