Heather Penzel

My awareness of God’s presence in my life began with being raised by parents who both have relationships with Jesus Christ. I remember inviting Jesus “into my heart” at a very early age and always considering myself His follower. Unfortunately, encountering a living God was not necessarily a part of my upbringing.

Coming into adulthood, I began to face many of the underlying causes for a personal struggle with depression. Before entering college, I issued decree to the the Divine: “I need You to make what I know in my head about Your love real in my heart, or I don’t want to do this [life] anymore.” During this same time frame, I began to investigate the charismatic stream of Christian faith. I was part of a Vineyard church-based small group that was like a family who incubated my tender heart.

Perhaps the most impacting experience of my adult life was a 6-month internship spending the hours of midnight to 6am in a prayer room. It has often been in contemplative prayer that I have most clearly heard God’s voice and felt His love. I learned that while charismatic experiences can be like throwing gasoline on a small flame, the contemplative tradition is the transforming work of stoking a fire to an intense and slow-burning heat.

I was introduced to Quakerism while attending seminary. During that time, I sensed God sitting quietly with me allowing me to be in my anger and rage at Him without correction, judgment, or turning away from me. This transformed my images of God and allowed me to accept myself as a queer, non-binary person.

More recently, I have been influenced by teachers outside of the Christian tradition such as Ram Dass, Chani Nicholas, Eckhardt Tolle, and the poet Hafiz. It’s been a beautiful season of seeing the values of Jesus being lived out in diverse streams of faith. I am also a part of a local Anglican community as well as part of a spiritual recovery program.

Throughout our sessions, I will reflect back what I’m hearing and accompany you in finding clarity and connection to the Divine. I may make suggestions and invitations. The lenses I use are feminist, anti-racism, and queer. Depending on your preference and comfort, we may move into times of centering silence, vocal prayer, guided meditation or other spiritual practices.

There is an organic flow to our time together. Ultimately, you are the decision-maker about how and what we explore during your sessions. Every session is slightly different depending on what you are bringing with you. We ask Spirit to direct our time and invite an internal openness to whatever Spirit is calling our attention to. I’ll then invite you to reflect on how to apply any insights, clarity and practices back into the rest of your life.

Your neurodiversity, lived experience of mental health and addiction are welcome here.